Barf-o-Rama, True Detective, and Television Critics

I haven’t had the time, nor the energy to be honest, to figure out if this is a continuation of my last post’s theme or just another new and festering peeve, though I suspect it’s a little of both.

Anyway . . . there’s a great scene in Stand By Me, around a campfire in the woods, the Will Wheaten as young Stephen King tells a story about another outsiders revenge against a town of bullies – the great pie eating contest barf-o-rama.

Nice story, the kids love it . . . for about 30 seconds. Then, since they are in such proximity to the author they start with, “Great, but why’d you end it there? I wouldda . . .” “Yeah, or you could’ve put a ….” “What if the kid did this ….”

All of which the young author handles with perfect, unperturbed, so very beyond his years maturity and confidence: “Because that’s the way the story goes, that’s the way the story ends.”

True Detective ended last night (this morning for those of us trying to get on the HBOGO web site) and Monday Morning Quarterbacking from television critics far and wide, professional and self-appointed has commenced resembling nothing less than a continuation of Lardass’ barfing chain letter.

Women critics are incensed there were no strong women characters (Michelle Monaghan should be insulted – she was great); mystery/crime fan-critics are equally pissed there were so many loose threads; occult fan-critics outraged there was nothing occult about the ending; HP Lovecraft & Robert Chambers adherents devastated the answer wasn’t in the supernatural; conspiracy advocates irate that, in order, 1. Cohle; 2. Hart; 3. Maggie’s father; weren’t revealed as the killer in a startling Sixth Sense denouement.

True Detective ended last night. It’s over. It left scores of questions hanging in the Sopranos_ep311breeze. Kinda like real life. It ended as it did because that’s how it ends. Anyone stewing over it can go out and create their own story and end it as they feel fit and, guess what? That’s how that story will end. Because.

Absent that, accept it or sit around all day wondering what happened to the Soprano’s ‘Russian Interior decorator’ who killed all those Czechs.


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